Date Nights When You Can’t Leave the House Due to COVID–BLOG

Outline of house with window looking out at tree. Image meant to signify feeling trapped and the improved communication skills and emotional connection achieved from attending intensive marriage counseling in Massachusetts such as a Hold Me Tight Workshop in Massachusetts.

“My husband and I really need a date night, but it’s not happening during COVID.”

“The only privacy I get is when I go to the bathroom! It’s impossible to have a private conversation with my partner in this house.”

I understand communicating privately with others constantly in your home seems impossible. And my ‘activity’ blogs may seem impossible to do right now, as well.

We Need to be Creative

Photograph of Bri McCarroll.  Relationship coach and expert on emotionally focused therapy.

If you have worked with me at all, though, you may know that I am an ‘idea’ woman. I help my clients think ‘outside of the box’ to get relief and help.

This blog is geared toward helping you think ‘outside of the box’ when attempting to find a space for a date night (and considering age groups of others in the house). I am being creative; I hope this inspires you to think of other options!


If You Have Children Ages 1 & Up…

Using schedules

Latency ages girl writing on bed. This signifies increased emotional connection from parents having healthy boundaries and attending a marriage retreat in New England.

If you have small children, get them used to a consistently scheduled ‘quiet time’. Akin to the naps and/or quiet time they would have at day-care and school, this healthy practice teaches self-soothing, self-control, and independence.

As they get used to the daily scheduled quiet time, this time becomes an opportunity for you to have your ‘date night’ or a well-deserved quiet time for you both! Even though it may be as short as 20 minutes, it’s a time that you can count on and use for your relationship’s sake.

Lastly, although it’s not done often, teenagers can benefit from ‘quiet time’ as well. This can be labeled as ‘reading’ or ‘homework’ time, but it’s still a healthy habit, no matter the age.

If You Have Children Ages 7 & Up…

Using boundaries

Child knocking on closed door. Image meant to signify healthy boundaries and couples communication skills in Massachusetts through the use of limits.

Many households do not require children to knock before entering a room. Yet, this is a realistic expectation and is a helpful thing to teach now. It’s appropriate and healthy for family members to understand the concept of privacy and the boundary of a closed door.

Once family members respect the concept of a closed door, choose a consistent time that you and your partner will have ‘private time’. Go to an enclosed room, close the door, and use a sound machine outside at the base of the door for privacy. You are still accessible but you are able to speak freely and at least nurture one another with words and tenderness.

If You Have Children Ages 9 & Up…

Using alternative spaces

Couple relaxing in back of their car with trunk opened up. This signifies emotional connection after attending intensive marriage counseling in Massachusetts or marriage counseling retreats in New England.

Don’t be afraid to use your car as another space. Remember all the date nights when you were first dating and you would spend hours in the driveway talking in the car? Why does it have to be different now? And don’t just hang out in the front seat. If you have a way to relax in the back, then create a picnic or lounge area and spread out!

Creatively using your yard

Cat on bench surrounded by plants. This is the location of New England Hold Me Tight lesbian couples retreats 2020.

Also, use more of your outside space. As the weather becomes nicer, it is easier to imagine doing so anyways. Set up simple furniture and allow plants or physical barriers to make visual ‘rooms’ in your space. Pinterest is full of ideas on how to use old fences, doors, and suspended panels to make ‘rooms’.

If you need to be ‘contained’ in a more traditional manner but want to be outdoors, consider simple canopies with mosquito netting walls. My most creative idea would be to set up a tent for the next few months, making that a totally separate room for a private space.

Again, the whole point of this is not to create a dream backyard but, rather, to create spaces for you and your partner to have privacy for conversations and nurturing.

If You Have Children Ages 12 & Up…

Lesbian couple walking together. This image portrays emotional connection and better communication after attending a lesbian couples counseling retreat in MA.

Go away from the house

The purpose of the quarantine is about not contaminating others and spreading the virus. Fortunately, we live in an area that has many large natural areas for walks, hikes, and exploration.

Use your car and take a drive, enjoying the blooming trees and the change of scenery. Thoughtfully choose where to stop; picking places not commonly frequented by others and where there are consistently wide areas so social distancing is easily maintained.

It’s very easy for us to be in the outside world without contaminating others. This will not only provide an easy location for your ‘date night’, it’s also incredibly healthy for your mental health as well.

To Be Continued…

I keep hearing people saying they can’t have a date night as they don’t have the privacy. I hope this blog has provided some inspiration on that.

My next ‘date night’ blog will be addressing the other statement I frequently hear, “There’s nothing to do…everything is closed!”


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