You have your own strategies for managing your more ‘difficult’ relations.
Seeing your partner struggle, though, through painful family drama can trigger a myriad of emotions in you: helplessness, frustration, isolation, and disconnect; to name a few.
You want to help your partner (which indirectly, will also help you), but are not sure how. This video/blog gives some concrete suggestions.
“I just don’t feel appreciated by my partner…I don’t feel that he acknowledges what I am doing and he just doesn’t seem to appreciate me.”
Learn some benefits of showing appreciation in your relationship and ways to make your efforts a bit more effective.
Your partner comes to you stressed out. You want to help her; make things better. So, you start making suggestions on what she should do.
She replies, “I don’t need you to fix it, I just need you to listen!”
You feel at a loss as to what to do; you thought you were being helpful. Confused and hurt, you become quiet.
She continues, “Here we go. I try to talk with you about things and you just shut down or don’t respond. You can’t just be there for me.”
You ask your partner, “Did you miss me?”
Your partner’s heart skips a beat. You have just asked one of those sticky ‘yes/no’ questions (I fondly call these ‘cornering questions’ as it places your partner in a corner where he/she is stuck with no ‘right’ answer)!
“I love this spaghetti, but the pasta is a bit mushy.”
You were trying to give a compliment…to connect through kind words. Unfortunately, all your partner heard was “The pasta is a bit mushy,” and is looking hurt and angry.