Betrayals Can Destroy Relationships
An affair is a betrayal of the most intimate and significant trust a person can promise to another.
The thing is, affairs and betrayals don’t happen when a couple is happy or doing well. They are a symptom that things have gone wrong…that there is disconnection in the relationship.
Good Can Come Out of All of This
Affairs and betrayals are painful and difficult to recover from, yet they are also an opportunity. When they happen, the couple can no longer be passive about the relationship or ignore the lack of connection. The pain of an affair pushes a couple to make change.
I Know There are Two Sides to the Story
If you were the one cheated on:
You understandably feel anger, hurt and betrayal. What is not spoken about is the shame you may feel. Society encourages you to leave your partner and suggest something is wrong that you are giving him/her another chance. You also struggle with new feelings of inadequacy, like somehow your partner’s cheating suggests you were not ‘good enough’.
If you were the one that cheated:
You understandably feel scared, regretful, and overwhelmed. Confusion is also present. Your partner keeps asking how it happened, what were the reasons, and questions your love and commitment and you really don’t know! You still love your partner and don’t have good answers; you truly are not quite sure of the reason it happened. In the midst of all of this, there is now a new struggle–dealing with these continuous conversations. You know it needs to be talked about, but it feels like this questioning will never end.
Your Relationship is My Client
Because I know there are two sides, I don’t pick a side.
Prior to the Intensive, I meet with each of you individually to gather your perspective, hear your struggle and explore your fears. Understanding where you both are coming from, I can be an ally for your relationship and your recovery.
Tangible Tools to Help You Heal
An Affair Recovery and Betrayal Repair Intensive includes several components to get you on a path of healing. These include:
Understanding the science of love and how affairs can develop.
Exploring what went wrong and what was happening prior to the affair.
Learning communication tools and concrete strategies to improve connection.
Increasing compassion and beginning to rebuild trust.
How long is the Affair Recovery & Betrayal Repair Intensive?
These Retreats are 3 days, approximately 7 hours each day.
Day 1 is the Foundation. You learn the science of love relationships and basic communication tools.
Day 2 is the Exploration. You share your perspective on what happened prior to the affair and the aftershocks. You continue to learn and practice additional communication tools.
Day 3 is the Reparation. You strengthen your empathy skills and begin to build trust. Your connection increases as you continue to practice communication and demonstrate compassion for one another.
Where do we do this Intensive?
Couples generally attend this Retreat at my location. Specific accommodations are made to address COVID.
Meeting online or at a different location is possible. Let me know if either of these options interests you.
Is this Intensive Private?
Yes, my attention is completely focused on you and your relationship. Your privacy is assured.
- 24 hours of my complete attention on you and your relationship. This is the equivalent of 6 months’ worth of couples sessions.
- Resource Workbook that includes exercises and information to support you at home.
- Relationship Assessment based on an initial online intake and the pre-Intensive individual sessions.
- Follow-up video session to address additional issues and support your progress.
- Recommendation List of tools and strategies to use, based on our work together and designed specifically for you.
- Snacks and beverages during the Intensive to nurture and sustain you.
- Exclusive Access to subsequent relationship coaching sessions, as needed and based on my schedules availability.
How successful is this?
The model used, Emotionally Focused Therapy, has a 90% success rate at reducing distress in couples.
Every couple I have worked with has left in a better place. Most couples move forward on the path of recovery and strengthening their connection.
Even if a couple decides not to continue their relationship, they are able to engage in more productive and compassionate conversations after the Intensive. The understanding and communication tools gained make co-parenting and other interactions more effective and less combative.
What’s the Next Step? Learn More…
Go to my my FAQS page for Intensives and Retreats. There, you will learn the specific and concrete details (such as costs, use of insurance, etc) that apply to my Retreats and Intensives, in general.