Betrayals Can Destroy Relationships
An affair is a betrayal of the most intimate and significant trust a person can promise to another.
The thing is, affairs and betrayals don’t happen when a couple is happy or doing well. They are a symptom that things have gone wrong…that there is disconnection in the relationship.
Good Can Come Out of All of This
Affairs and betrayals are painful and difficult to recover from, yet they are also an opportunity. When they happen, the couple can no longer be passive about the relationship or ignore the lack of connection. The pain of an affair pushes a couple to make change.
I Know There are Two Sides to the Story
If you were the one cheated on:
You understandably feel anger, hurt and betrayal. What is not spoken about is the shame you may feel. Society encourages you to leave your partner and suggest something is wrong that you are giving him/her another chance. You also struggle with new feelings of inadequacy, like somehow your partner’s cheating suggests you were not ‘good enough’.
If you were the one that cheated:
You understandably feel scared, regretful, and overwhelmed. Confusion is also present. Your partner keeps asking how it happened, what were the reasons, and questions your love and commitment and you really don’t know! You still love your partner and don’t have good answers; you truly are not quite sure of the reason it happened. In the midst of all of this, there is now a new struggle–dealing with these continuous conversations. You know it needs to be talked about, but it feels like this questioning will never end.
Your Relationship is My Client
Because I know there are two sides, I don’t pick a side.
During your Private Couples Therapy Intensive, I meet with each of you individually to gather your perspective, hear your struggle and explore your fears. Understanding where you both are coming from, I can be an ally for your relationship and your recovery.
Tangible Tools to Help You Heal
An Affair Recovery and Betrayal Repair Intensive includes several components to get you on a path of healing. These include:
- Understanding the science of relationships and how affairs often develop.
- Addressing the damage/hurt in a manner that is helpful.
- Exploring what went wrong and what was happening prior to the affair.
- Learning communication tools and concrete strategies to improve connection.
- Increasing compassion and beginning to rebuild trust.
Make This Intensive ‘Just Right’ – Choose Your Location
This options gives you the most flexibility to determine where you want to be during the Intensive. Whether in your home, a luxurious resort, or a cozy get-away, you choose where you are and design the space so it’s most ideal for you.
This option puts you in my hands, my space and is in-person. Located in Springfield, Massachusetts, we meet at my home office. The calm and beautifully decorated space is designed to be professional, peaceful and yet ‘homey’.
This option gives you complete control over your Retreat’s location. Whether we meet in the comforts of your home or an exotic destination, you decide where we meet and I will go to you. For people who really want to ‘escape’, this is ideal.
How long is the Affair Recovery & Betrayal Repair Intensive?
These Intensives are 4 days, 9-4 daily.
Day 1 is the Foundation. You learn the science of love relationships and basic communication tools.
Day 2 is the Exploration. You share your perspective on what happened prior to the affair and the aftershocks. You continue to learn and practice additional communication tools.
Day 3 is the Reparation. You strengthen your empathy skills and begin to build trust. Your connection increases as you continue to practice communication and demonstrate compassion for one another.
Day 4 is the Connection. The most difficult parts are done and now you work on re-affirming your relationship. You strategize how to address the road to recovery ahead of you, support your partner and create a deeper and more connected relationship.
Where do we do this Intensive?
I offer these Intensives with three different location options.
- My Place
- Your Choice
Learn about the different Retreat locations here.
Is this Intensive Private?
Yes, my attention is completely focused on you and your relationship. Your privacy is assured.
- My complete attention on you and your relationship from 9-4 daily for four days. This is the equivalent of 8 months’ worth of couples sessions.
- Resource Workbook that includes exercises and information to support you at home.
- Relationship Assessment based on an initial online intake and individual sessions that occur during the Retreat.
- Individual Intensive Sessions (1 to 3 per person) designed to augment our couples work. These sessions specifically address stressors you have individually in your relationship.
- Summary of tools and strategies we used during your Intensive. Additional tools are included that I have seen to be effective with couples in general.
- Snacks and beverages during the Intensive to nurture and sustain you (if the Intensive occurs at my location).
- Exclusive Access to subsequent relationship coaching sessions, as needed and based on my schedules availability.
How successful is this?
The model used, Emotionally Focused Therapy, has a 90% success rate at reducing distress in couples.
Every couple I have worked with has left in a better place. Most couples move forward on the path of recovery and strengthening their connection.
Even if a couple decides not to continue their relationship, they are able to engage in more productive and compassionate conversations after the Intensive. The understanding and communication tools gained make co-parenting and other interactions more effective and less combative.
What’s the Next Step? Learn More…
Go to my my FAQS page for Intensives and Retreats. There, you will learn the specific and concrete details (such as costs, use of insurance, etc) that apply to my Retreats and Intensives, in general.