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1,000 Soft Touches–ACTIVITY
“1,000 Soft Touches” involves doing the ‘little things’ for your partner so he/she feels SEEN and HEARD. As much as people understand the idea, it’s often difficult for people to imagine what would be a ‘soft touch’.
Slow Down Conflicts With ‘Infinity Listening’–VIDEO
I don’t feel heard in this relationship.” is a frequent complaint that I get when working with couples. Another is, “I don’t want to say anything as it will just make a big argument.” Can you relate to either of these phrases? If so, it’s understandable you feel apprehensive of having conversations with your partner.
Two Good Things Plus One Gift–RELATIONSHIP ACTIVITY
This exercise is about noticing and acknowledging good things daily to improve your mood. It also focuses on sharing good things we like about our partner to make a positive connection.
10 Coping Strategies Used by Resilient Couples & Families During COVID
Everyone is feeling the impact of the social isolation and logistical complications of self-quarantining. During my online sessions with individuals and couples, I am seeing some coping more successfully than others. Here is a list of the strategies I am seeing the more resilient couples and families use.
“What I Feel, What I Want, and What I Need”–COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY
Couples have conflicts more frequently during times of transition, such as when getting up in the morning, greeting one another at the end of the day, or getting things ready as kids do evening tasks. This activity expresses each partner’s priorities quickly and clearly so both partners can work together, prioritizing needs and recognizing the feelings…
5 Tips for Self-care in Times of Stress and During COVID–BLOG
This is a time of stress for most of us. The media surrounds us with news of death and exposure numbers. The government initiates increasingly restrictive measures to contain the spread of COVID-19. Predictable realities, such as being able to buy toilet paper, are no longer predictable. Routine social connections are being discouraged. By Actively…
How Using “YOU” Can Make a Mess of “Us”–BLOG
“You are doing it again.” “You are not listening to me.” Sometimes, you are attempting to express and connect with your partner and stumble into a conflict innocently by the use of ‘you’.
“I Feel Loved & Special When”–CONNECTING ACTIVITY
We want to show our partner we love them, but how? Let your partner share the answer with you in this activity!
The Impact Our Relationships Have on Us (Part 2 of 4): The Science Behind Our Relationships Series–VIDEO/BLOG
This video continues to explore the science behind our relationships. The signs we can be looking for to help us know “How are we doing in our relationship? Do we feel secure with each other in this relationship?” and some signs that we might see when it is not so secure. So both the good…
Wired for Connection (Part 1 of 4): The Science Behind Our Relationships Series–VIDEO/BLOG
You meet someone and become entranced by them and then you eventually get into a relationship. You don’t really know what happened that actually caused that to happen. But, it’s not like it’s magic. It may feel that way, but it’s not. There’s actually a science behind it and that’s what I am going to…
3 Goals for a Healthy Relationship–BLOG
It is a new year and you may have made some New Year’s resolutions. Yay you! One of the first steps towards making a change in your life is envisioning what you want and then setting some goals towards it. In case you are envisioning an improved relationship this year, I am hoping to give…
Helping Your Partner With ‘Complicated Family’–VIDEO/BLOG
“Complicated family” You have your own strategies for managing your more ‘difficult’ relations. Seeing your partner struggle, though, through painful family drama can trigger a myriad of emotions in you: helplessness, frustration, isolation, and disconnect; to name a few. You want to help your partner (which indirectly, will also help you), but are not sure…
Developing an “Attitude of Gratitude” For Your Relationship–VIDEO/BLOG
This video/blog focuses on what can happen to our relationships when we take them for granted, the benefits of appreciating we have a relationship, and an activity to help develop that appreciation.
How to Show Appreciation in Your Relationship So That You Both Benefit–VIDEO/BLOG
“I just don’t feel appreciated by my partner…I don’t feel that he acknowledges what I am doing and he just doesn’t seem to appreciate me.” Learn some benefits of showing appreciation in your relationship and ways to make your efforts a bit more effective.
Why It’s Hard to See the Good in Our Partners–VIDEO/BLOG
VIDEO: When you feel disconnected in your relationship, it’s easy to see the bad and be critical about your partner; it can become hard to find the good. We start wondering if we are ‘negative’ or what is wrong with us.
How to ‘Be There’ for Your Partner–BLOG
Your partner comes to you stressed out. You want to help her; make things better. So, you start making suggestions on what she should do. She replies, “I don’t need you to fix it, I just need you to listen!” You feel at a loss as to what to do; you thought you were being…
Our Relationship Conflicts: Two Sides of the Same Coin–BLOG
When we have a conflict, it can appear like a big mess of emotions, words, expressions, and actions. Underneath all of that, there’s actually a pattern that is pretty consistent, even if the topics may vary.
How to Avoid ‘Cornering Questions’–BLOG
You ask your partner, “Did you miss me?” Your partner’s heart skips a beat. You have just asked one of those sticky ‘yes/no’ questions (I fondly call these ‘cornering questions’ as it places your partner in a corner where he/she is stuck with no ‘right’ answer)!
Writing Your Relationship’s Love Story–BLOG
We document our wedding day, a school year, the first few years of a baby’s life…why not write and acknowledge the days, years, and life of our love relationships?
Watch Your Words: “Yes…but”–BLOG
“I love this spaghetti, but the pasta is a bit mushy.” You were trying to give a compliment…to connect through kind words. Unfortunately, all your partner heard was “The pasta is a bit mushy,” and is looking hurt and angry.