These are free articles and videos I have created to be helpful to you and your relationship.
Mothers with children at home (young or adult) have been on the COVID frontline. They are protecting their family and home from an invisible enemy through diligent effort and hypervigilance, but at a cost.
Mothers have been describing a set of consistent symptoms; I now consider these symptoms as a part of something I am calling “COVID Fatigue”.
“My husband and I really need a date night, but it’s not happening during COVID.”
“The only privacy I get is when I go to the bathroom! It’s impossible to have a private conversation with my partner in this house.”
This blog is geared at helping you think ‘outside of the box’ regarding finding a space for a date night.
“1,000 Soft Touches” involves doing the ‘little things’ for your partner so he/she feels SEEN and HEARD.
As much as people understand the idea, it’s often difficult for people to imagine what would be a ‘soft touch’.
I don’t feel heard in this relationship.” is a frequent complaint that I get when working with couples. Another is, “I don’t want to say anything as it will just make a big argument.”
Can you relate to either of these phrases? If so, it’s understandable you feel apprehensive of having conversations with your partner.
This exercise is about noticing and acknowledging good things daily to improve your mood. It also focuses on sharing good things we like about our partner to make a positive connection.
Everyone is feeling the impact of the social isolation and logistical complications of self-quarantining. During my online sessions with individuals and couples, I am seeing some coping more successfully than others. Here is a list of the strategies I am seeing the more resilient couples and families use.
Couples have conflicts more frequently during times of transition, such as when getting up in the morning, greeting one another at the end of the day, or getting things ready as kids do evening tasks.
This activity expresses each partner’s priorities quickly and clearly so both partners can work together, prioritizing needs and recognizing the feelings and wants of each other.
This is a time of stress for most of us. The media surrounds us with news of death and exposure numbers. The government initiates increasingly restrictive measures to contain the spread of COVID-19. Predictable realities, such as being able to buy toilet paper, are no longer predictable. Routine social connections are being discouraged. By ActivelyContinue reading “5 Tips for Self-care in Times of Stress and During COVID–BLOG”
“You are doing it again.”
“You are not listening to me.”
Sometimes, you are attempting to express and connect with your partner and stumble into a conflict innocently by the use of ‘you’.
We want to show our partner we love them, but how? Let your partner share the answer with you in this activity!
The Impact Our Relationships Have on Us (Part 2 of 4): The Science Behind Our Relationships Series–VIDEO/BLOG
This video continues to explore the science behind our relationships.
The signs we can be looking for to help us know “How are we doing in our relationship? Do we feel secure with each other in this relationship?” and some signs that we might see when it is not so secure. So both the good news and the bad news.
You meet someone and become entranced by them and then you eventually get into a relationship. You don’t really know what happened that actually caused that to happen. But, it’s not like it’s magic. It may feel that way, but it’s not.
There’s actually a science behind it and that’s what I am going to discuss.
It is a new year and you may have made some New Year’s resolutions. Yay you! One of the first steps towards making a change in your life is envisioning what you want and then setting some goals towards it.
In case you are envisioning an improved relationship this year, I am hoping to give a little guidance.
You have your own strategies for managing your more ‘difficult’ relations.
Seeing your partner struggle, though, through painful family drama can trigger a myriad of emotions in you: helplessness, frustration, isolation, and disconnect; to name a few.
You want to help your partner (which indirectly, will also help you), but are not sure how. This video/blog gives some concrete suggestions.
This video/blog focuses on what can happen to our relationships when we take them for granted, the benefits of appreciating we have a relationship, and an activity to help develop that appreciation.
“I just don’t feel appreciated by my partner…I don’t feel that he acknowledges what I am doing and he just doesn’t seem to appreciate me.”
Learn some benefits of showing appreciation in your relationship and ways to make your efforts a bit more effective.
VIDEO: When you feel disconnected in your relationship, it’s easy to see the bad and be critical about your partner; it can become hard to find the good. We start wondering if we are ‘negative’ or what is wrong with us.
Your partner comes to you stressed out. You want to help her; make things better. So, you start making suggestions on what she should do.
She replies, “I don’t need you to fix it, I just need you to listen!”
You feel at a loss as to what to do; you thought you were being helpful. Confused and hurt, you become quiet.
She continues, “Here we go. I try to talk with you about things and you just shut down or don’t respond. You can’t just be there for me.”
When we have a conflict, it can appear like a big mess of emotions, words, expressions, and actions. Underneath all of that, there’s actually a pattern that is pretty consistent, even if the topics may vary.
You ask your partner, “Did you miss me?”
Your partner’s heart skips a beat. You have just asked one of those sticky ‘yes/no’ questions (I fondly call these ‘cornering questions’ as it places your partner in a corner where he/she is stuck with no ‘right’ answer)!
We document our wedding day, a school year, the first few years of a baby’s life…why not write and acknowledge the days, years, and life of our love relationships?
“I love this spaghetti, but the pasta is a bit mushy.”
You were trying to give a compliment…to connect through kind words. Unfortunately, all your partner heard was “The pasta is a bit mushy,” and is looking hurt and angry.