“I don’t feel heard in this relationship.” is a frequent complaint that I get when working with couples. Another is, “I don’t want to say anything as it will just make a big argument.“
Can you relate to either of these phrases? If so, it’s understandable you feel apprehensive of having conversations with your partner. If you aren’t feeling heard or conversations tend to end up in arguments, you have every reason NOT to engage in conversations.
It’s About Listening
As humans, we need to feel ‘seen’ and ‘heard’ by our partner for a conversation to be successful. When we do not experience that, we can feel a disconnection with our partner. And then have conflicts.
This video demonstrates a specific tool to slow down conflicts by helping both partners feel heard. After demonstrating my “Infinity Technique”, I describe when to use this and the science behind its success.
Lastly, a small disclaimer. This technique is my tweak of “Intentional Dialogue”; a tool developed by Harvey Hendricks and used in Imago couples therapy.
Relationship Activity
Now you know the technique, let’s have you apply it with simple topics 2 or 3 times a week for the next few weeks. Discuss plans for the day, your favorite ice cream flavor, or what you want to do once the quarantine is over. This is your time to practice!
I want you to have competency and confidence in this tool so you can effectively use it when a conversation is complicated.
Improve Communication and Connection With a Private Couples Therapy Intensive or ONLINE Couples Workshop
Communication LOOKS so easy but it’s amazingly tough! You can have the best of intentions, but you end up stepping on eggshells and things ‘blow up’ seemingly out of nowhere. You don’t have to keep trying and getting exhausted or discouraged in the process. As challenging as relationships can be, there’s help. It’s just about doing things a little differently.
Private Couple Retreats (couples therapy intensives) and ONLINE “Hold Me Tight®” Couples Workshops help you learn communication tools so you can resolve conflicts and re-connect. New England Hold Me Tight has skilled therapists and relationship coaches who specialize in helping couples like you who want to save a marriage or fix a relationship.
To start your path towards a healthier and more connected relationship, follow these simple steps:
1. Contact Bri McCarroll at New England Hold Me Tight.
2. Meet for a free 50-minute consultation (video).
3. Take a Private Couples Intensive (Retreat) or an ONLINE “Hold Me Tight Workshop®” to improve your relationship’s communication and connection.
4. Start to reconnect again.
Additional Relationship Tips (Free)
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–Learn some communication strategies and relationship skills now with my other videos and blogs.
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Remember, I Want You to SUCCEED!
“Hold Me Tight®” is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson.