10 Coping Strategies Used by Resilient Couples & Families

Everyone is feeling the impact of the social isolation and logistical complications of self-quarantining. During my online sessions with individuals and couples, I am seeing some coping more successfully than others. Here is a list of the strategies I am seeing the more resilient couples and families use.

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“What I Feel, What I Want, and What I Need”–COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY

Couples have conflicts more frequently during times of transition, such as when getting up in the morning, greeting one another at the end of the day, or getting things ready as kids do evening tasks.

This activity expresses each partner’s priorities quickly and clearly so both partners can work together, prioritizing needs and recognizing the feelings and wants of each other. 

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How Using “YOU” Can Make a Mess of “Us”–BLOG

“You are doing it again.”
“You are not listening to me.”
Sometimes, you are attempting to express and connect with your partner and stumble into a conflict innocently by the use of ‘you’.

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3 Goals for a Healthy Relationship–BLOG

It is a new year and you may have made some New Year’s resolutions. Yay you! One of the first steps towards making a change in your life is envisioning what you want and then setting some goals towards it.

In case you are envisioning an improved relationship this year, I am hoping to give a little guidance.

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Helping Your Partner With ‘Complicated Family’–VIDEO/BLOG

“Complicated family”

You have your own strategies for managing your more ‘difficult’ relations.

Seeing your partner struggle, though, through painful family drama can trigger a myriad of emotions in you: helplessness, frustration, isolation, and disconnect; to name a few.

You want to help your partner (which indirectly, will also help you), but are not sure how. This video/blog gives some concrete suggestions.

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How to Show Appreciation in Your Relationship So That You Both Benefit–VIDEO/BLOG

“I just don’t feel appreciated by my partner…I don’t feel that he acknowledges what I am doing and he just doesn’t seem to appreciate me.”

Learn some benefits of showing appreciation in your relationship and ways to make your efforts a bit more effective.

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How to ‘Be There’ for Your Partner–BLOG

Your partner comes to you stressed out. You want to help her; make things better. So, you start making suggestions on what she should do.

She replies, “I don’t need you to fix it, I just need you to listen!”

You feel at a loss as to what to do; you thought you were being helpful. Confused and hurt, you become quiet.

She continues, “Here we go. I try to talk with you about things and you just shut down or don’t respond. You can’t just be there for me.”

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How to Avoid ‘Cornering Questions’–BLOG

You ask your partner, “Did you miss me?”
Your partner’s heart skips a beat. You have just asked one of those sticky ‘yes/no’ questions (I fondly call these ‘cornering questions’ as it places your partner in a corner where he/she is stuck with no ‘right’ answer)!

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Watch Your Words: “Yes…but”–BLOG

“I love this spaghetti, but the pasta is a bit mushy.”

You were trying to give a compliment…to connect through kind words. Unfortunately, all your partner heard was “The pasta is a bit mushy,” and is looking hurt and angry.

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