“1,000 Soft Touches” involves doing the ‘little things’ for your partner so he/she feels SEEN and HEARD.
As much as people understand the idea, it’s often difficult for people to imagine what would be a ‘soft touch’.
Helping Hurting Couples Quickly with Private Retreats and Workshops
“1,000 Soft Touches” involves doing the ‘little things’ for your partner so he/she feels SEEN and HEARD.
As much as people understand the idea, it’s often difficult for people to imagine what would be a ‘soft touch’.
I don’t feel heard in this relationship.” is a frequent complaint that I get when working with couples. Another is, “I don’t want to say anything as it will just make a big argument.”
Can you relate to either of these phrases? If so, it’s understandable you feel apprehensive of having conversations with your partner.
This exercise is about noticing and acknowledging good things daily to improve your mood. It also focuses on sharing good things we like about our partner to make a positive connection.
Everyone is feeling the impact of the social isolation and logistical complications of self-quarantining. During my online sessions with individuals and couples, I am seeing some coping more successfully than others. Here is a list of the strategies I am seeing the more resilient couples and families use.
Couples have conflicts more frequently during times of transition, such as when getting up in the morning, greeting one another at the end of the day, or getting things ready as kids do evening tasks.
This activity expresses each partner’s priorities quickly and clearly so both partners can work together, prioritizing needs and recognizing the feelings and wants of each other.
“You are doing it again.”
“You are not listening to me.”
Sometimes, you are attempting to express and connect with your partner and stumble into a conflict innocently by the use of ‘you’.
It is a new year and you may have made some New Year’s resolutions. Yay you! One of the first steps towards making a change in your life is envisioning what you want and then setting some goals towards it.
In case you are envisioning an improved relationship this year, I am hoping to give a little guidance.
“Complicated family”
You have your own strategies for managing your more ‘difficult’ relations.
Seeing your partner struggle, though, through painful family drama can trigger a myriad of emotions in you: helplessness, frustration, isolation, and disconnect; to name a few.
You want to help your partner (which indirectly, will also help you), but are not sure how. This video/blog gives some concrete suggestions.
“I just don’t feel appreciated by my partner…I don’t feel that he acknowledges what I am doing and he just doesn’t seem to appreciate me.”
Learn some benefits of showing appreciation in your relationship and ways to make your efforts a bit more effective.
Your partner comes to you stressed out. You want to help her; make things better. So, you start making suggestions on what she should do.
She replies, “I don’t need you to fix it, I just need you to listen!”
You feel at a loss as to what to do; you thought you were being helpful. Confused and hurt, you become quiet.
She continues, “Here we go. I try to talk with you about things and you just shut down or don’t respond. You can’t just be there for me.”