Betrayals Can Destroy Relationships
An affair is a betrayal of the most intimate and significant trust a person can promise to another.
The thing is, affairs and betrayals don’t happen when a couple is happy or doing well. They are a symptom that things have gone wrong…that there is disconnection in the relationship.
Good Can Come Out of All of This
Affairs and betrayals are painful and difficult to recover from, yet they are also an opportunity. When they happen, the couple can no longer be passive about the relationship or ignore the lack of connection. The pain of an affair pushes a couple to make change.
I Know There are Two Sides to the Story
If you were the one cheated on:
You understandably feel anger, hurt and betrayal. What is not spoken about is the shame you may feel. Society encourages you to leave your partner and suggest something is wrong that you are giving him/her another chance. You also struggle with new feelings of inadequacy, like somehow your partner’s cheating suggests you were not ‘good enough’.
If you were the one that cheated:
You understandably feel scared, regretful, and overwhelmed. Confusion is also present. Your partner keeps asking how it happened, what were the reasons, and questions your love and commitment and you really don’t know! You still love your partner and don’t have good answers; you truly are not quite sure of the reason it happened. In the midst of all of this, there is now a new struggle–dealing with these continuous conversations. You know it needs to be talked about, but it feels like this questioning will never end.
Your Relationship is My Client
Because I know there are two sides, I don’t pick a side.
During your Private Couples Therapy Intensive, I meet with each of you individually to gather your perspective, hear your struggle and explore your fears. Understanding where you both are coming from, I can be an ally for your relationship and your recovery.
Four Complete Days Focused on Affair Recovery
When an affair happens, BOTH people want to make things better, but no one knows how. I require we have at least 4 days together because we need time for several things:
- Explore what was happening, for both of you, in the relationship prior to the affair
- Share all the details of the affair so there are no more ‘surprises’ later
- Process the emotions on both sides about the affair
- Address the hurt and work towards forgiveness
- Learn how to reassure and rebuild trust over time
You do all of this, plus also learn how to communicate more effectively, listen to one another more skillfully, and connect more deeply.
Tangible Tools to Help You Rebuild After an Affair
An Affair Recovery and Betrayal Repair Intensive includes several components to get you on a path of healing. These include:
- Understanding the science of relationships and how affairs often develop.
- Addressing the damage/hurt in a manner that is helpful.
- Exploring what went wrong and what was happening prior to the affair.
- Learning communication tools and concrete strategies to improve connection.
- Increasing compassion and beginning to rebuild trust.
Make This Affair Repair Intensive ‘Just Right’
Four Days – No Interruptions – Prioritizing Your Relationship
Pick the Location Option Best for You
Choose Your Location
You pick the location in the Eastern United States and I travel to you. We then conduct your Retreat/Intensive at your location, in-person.
Cost: $10,950
Online
Whether in your home, a resort, or a cozy get-away, you choose where you want to be and I meet you online. We can meet literally anywhere in the world.
Cost: $9,450
Asheville, NC
Come to my peaceful space in the hills of Asheville and work in-person. Enjoy this popular city or hike the Blue Ridge Mountains during your ‘off time’.
Cost: $9,450
Basic FAQS
How long is the Affair Recovery & Betrayal Repair Intensive?
These Intensives are 4 days, 9 am – 5 pm daily.
Day 1 is the Foundation. You learn the science of love relationships and basic communication tools.
Day 2 is the Exploration. You share your perspective on what happened prior to the affair and the aftershocks. You continue to learn and practice additional communication tools.
Day 3 is the Reparation. You strengthen your empathy skills and begin to build trust. Your connection increases as you continue to practice communication and demonstrate compassion for one another.
Day 4 is the Connection. The most difficult parts are done and now you work on re-affirming your relationship. You strategize how to address the road to recovery ahead of you, support your partner and create a deeper and more connected relationship.
Where do we do this Intensive?
Your choice! Choose based on if you want in-person, your location, and cost.
Compare the different Retreat locations here.
Is this Intensive Private?
Yes, my attention is completely focused on you and your relationship. Your privacy is assured.
What’s included?
- My complete attention on you and your relationship from 9-5 daily for four days. This is the equivalent of 8 months’ worth of couples sessions.
- Resource Workbook that includes exercises and information to support you at home.
- Relationship Assessment based on an initial online intake and individual sessions that occur during the Retreat.
- Individual Intensive Sessions (1 to 3 per person) designed to augment our couples work. These sessions specifically address stressors you have individually in your relationship.
- Summary of tools and strategies we used during your Intensive. Additional tools are included that I have seen to be effective with couples in general.
- Snacks and beverages during the Intensive to nurture and sustain you (if the Intensive occurs at my location).
- Exclusive Access to subsequent relationship coaching sessions, as needed and based on my schedules availability.
How successful is this?
The model used, Emotionally Focused Therapy, has a 90% success rate at reducing distress in couples.
Every couple I have worked with has left in a better place. Most couples move forward on the path of recovery and strengthening their connection.
Even if a couple decides not to continue their relationship, they are able to engage in more productive and compassionate conversations after the Intensive. The understanding and communication tools gained make co-parenting and other interactions more effective and less combative.
What’s the Next Step? Learn More…
As difficult as affairs and betrayals are, they are an opportunity for change.
Let’s Start To Make That Change NOW.
At New England Hold Me Tight, although we started in New England, we now help couples everywhere!