Helping Hurting Couples Quickly with Private Retreats and Workshops
It is a new year and you may have made some New Year’s resolutions. Yay you! One of the first steps towards making a change in your life is envisioning what you want and then setting some goals towards it.
In case you are envisioning an improved relationship this year, I am hoping to give a little guidance.
“Complicated family”
You have your own strategies for managing your more ‘difficult’ relations.
Seeing your partner struggle, though, through painful family drama can trigger a myriad of emotions in you: helplessness, frustration, isolation, and disconnect; to name a few.
You want to help your partner (which indirectly, will also help you), but are not sure how. This video/blog gives some concrete suggestions.
This video/blog focuses on what can happen to our relationships when we take them for granted, the benefits of appreciating we have a relationship, and an activity to help develop that appreciation.
“I just don’t feel appreciated by my partner…I don’t feel that he acknowledges what I am doing and he just doesn’t seem to appreciate me.”
Learn some benefits of showing appreciation in your relationship and ways to make your efforts a bit more effective.
VIDEO: When you feel disconnected in your relationship, it’s easy to see the bad and be critical about your partner; it can become hard to find the good. We start wondering if we are ‘negative’ or what is wrong with us.
Your partner comes to you stressed out. You want to help her; make things better. So, you start making suggestions on what she should do.
She replies, “I don’t need you to fix it, I just need you to listen!”
You feel at a loss as to what to do; you thought you were being helpful. Confused and hurt, you become quiet.
She continues, “Here we go. I try to talk with you about things and you just shut down or don’t respond. You can’t just be there for me.”
When we have a conflict, it can appear like a big mess of emotions, words, expressions, and actions. Underneath all of that, there’s actually a pattern that is pretty consistent, even if the topics may vary.
You ask your partner, “Did you miss me?”
Your partner’s heart skips a beat. You have just asked one of those sticky ‘yes/no’ questions (I fondly call these ‘cornering questions’ as it places your partner in a corner where he/she is stuck with no ‘right’ answer)!
We document our wedding day, a school year, the first few years of a baby’s life…why not write and acknowledge the days, years, and life of our love relationships?
“I love this spaghetti, but the pasta is a bit mushy.”
You were trying to give a compliment…to connect through kind words. Unfortunately, all your partner heard was “The pasta is a bit mushy,” and is looking hurt and angry.